# Lesson 225: Solving problems calmly

❤️ SOCIAL EMOTIONAL LEARNING (40 Lessons) • 🟣 D. Problem Solving & Safety

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## Objective

I can use simple steps to solve problems calmly. I can practise stopping, breathing, naming the problem, and choosing a kind, fair, and safe idea.

## Materials

- Plain paper or a notebook page
- Crayons or colored pencils
- Optional: small sticky notes or stars to mark calm choices

## Mini-lesson — What does it mean to solve problems calmly?

Every day we meet small problems: someone takes a toy, two people talk at the same time, or a game does not feel fair.

Solving problems calmly means…

- Noticing the problem and stopping for a moment.
- Taking a slow breath to help our body feel calmer.
- Naming the problem with simple words.
- Thinking of small, fair ideas that are kind & safe.

Simple steps — Stop, Breathe, Think, Choose

- Stop — Pause your body. Feet still, hands still.
- Breathe — Take one or two slow belly breaths.
- Think — Say the problem in your head or out loud.
- Choose — Pick a kind, fair, and safe idea.

Calm problem-solving ideas

- Use an "I" message: "I feel upset when..., I need..."
- Take turns or share the item or space.
- Change the game so it feels fair for everyone.
- Ask a trusted adult for help if it feels too big or unsafe.

Why calm matters

- When we stay calm, it is easier to listen and use kind words.
- People feel more safe and respected.
- We can find solutions where everyone feels more okay.

Adults can say: "Let us do our steps: Stop, breathe, think, choose. What is one calm idea we can try?"

Picture strip: "Stop, Breathe, Think, Choose"

## Guided Practice — My calm problem-solving map

You and an adult will choose one small, real-life problem and draw a calm problem-solving map with the steps.

1. On a notebook page, draw four boxes in a row. Label them "Stop", "Breathe", "Think", and "Choose".
2. Pick a small problem (for example, "We both want the same marker" or "Two people talk at the same time"). Write or trace the problem at the top of the page.
3. In the Stop box, draw the child pausing their body (feet still, hands by their sides). Add a label such as "I stop my body."
4. In the Breathe box, draw slow belly breathing (hands on tummy, arrows for in and out). Add a label such as "I take two slow breaths."
5. In the Think box, draw a thinking bubble. Inside, write or trace the problem in simple words, such as "We both want the same toy."
6. In the Choose box, draw one kind, fair, and safe idea (for example, "Take turns", "Use a timer", or "Play a new game together"). Add a short label.
7. Practise saying the steps aloud together: "Stop, breathe, think, choose." Then act out the little story using the calm solution.

Tracing Pad
Lines
Trace
Pen

## Practice — My calm problem story

Use this practice to help your child notice how calm steps can change a problem story.

1. On a new page, draw two side-by-side boxes. Label one "Before calm steps" and the other "After calm steps".
2. Choose a simple problem, such as "Two people want the same swing" or "Friends shout over each other in a game". Write or trace the problem above the boxes.
3. In the Before calm steps box, draw what happens when no one stops or breathes (for example, louder voices, angry faces, and no one taking turns).
4. In the After calm steps box, draw the same problem after using Stop, Breathe, Think, Choose (for example, taking turns, using calm words, asking an adult for help).
5. Ask questions such as: "What changed in the second picture?" and "How do people feel inside now?"
6. Choose one tiny calm step to try this week (for example, "When I feel upset, I will take two slow breaths"). Draw a star next to that step.

## Quick Check — Solving problems calmly

Answer each question about calm steps, kind words, and fair ideas.

1) What does it mean to solve a problem calmly?

Shout and act quickly without thinking. Stop, breathe, think, and choose a kind, fair, and safe idea. Ignore the problem and hope it disappears.
Solving problems calmly uses steps that help us think before we act.

2) What is the first step in the calm problem-solving steps?

Stop your body. Shout louder. Run away.
We begin by stopping our body so we can choose calmly.

3) Why do we take a slow breath when we feel upset?

To make us more angry. To stop us from ever feeling anything. To help our body feel calmer so we can think.
Slow breaths can calm our body and help our thinking brain work.

4) What does it mean to name the problem?

Tell a silly story that is not true. Say in simple words what is going wrong. Blame someone else without thinking.
Naming the problem helps us understand what we need to fix.

5) Which sentence is an "I" message?

"I feel sad when the game is not fair." "You are always bad at games." "Everyone should listen only to me."
"I" messages talk about our own feelings in a calm way.

6) Two children both want the same crayon. Which calm idea is best?

Grab it and run away. Snap the crayon in half on purpose. Take turns or find another colour to use while you wait.
Taking turns and sharing are fair and calm solutions.

7) How might people feel when we solve a problem calmly?

More angry and unsafe. More calm, heard, and safe. Exactly the same as if we shouted.
Calm problem solving can help everyone feel more safe and respected.

8) When is it a good idea to ask an adult for help?

When the problem feels too big or unsafe. Only when you want to win a game. Never. You must always fix everything alone.
Adults can help keep everyone safe and support calm choices.

9) What should you do if your calm idea does not work the first time?

Give up and shout. Decide that calm steps never help. Try a new calm idea or ask an adult for help.
We can try another calm solution or get help from a grown-up.

10) What is one big goal of this lesson?

To make sure there are never any problems. To help children use calm steps to solve everyday problems. To teach children to always get their own way.
Problems will still happen, but we can use calm steps to handle them.

## Assessment (parent/teacher)

Student can say in simple words what it means to solve problems calmly. Student can name the steps Stop, Breathe, Think, Choose with some support. Student can give at least one example of a calm, fair, and safe solution to a small problem. Student can use or act out an "I" message in a simple problem story. Student knows they can ask a trusted adult for help when a problem feels too big or unsafe.

## Exit ticket (student)

😀 I can solve problems calmly with stop-breathe-think steps. 🙂 I know some calm steps, but I still need practice. 😅 Solving problems calmly still feels tricky for me.

#### Next time I will practise…

Taking two slow breaths before I speak Using an "I" message in a problem Asking an adult for help with a big problem
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