# Lesson 230: Handling disappointment

❤️ SOCIAL EMOTIONAL LEARNING (40 Lessons) • 🟣 D. Problem Solving & Safety

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## Objective

I can talk about disappointment. I can notice how my body feels, use calm steps, and choose a next step when things do not go my way.

## Materials

- Plain paper or a notebook page
- Crayons or colored pencils
- Optional: stickers or small stars to mark coping ideas

## Mini-lesson — What is disappointment?

Disappointment is a feeling we get when something we hoped for does not happen.

Examples:

- The game you wanted is not available.
- A friend cannot come to play.
- You did not win a race or a turn.

How disappointment can feel

- A heavy feeling in your chest or tummy.
- Shoulders that droop down.
- Wanting to cry or feel like saying, "This is not fair!"

These feelings are normal. Everyone feels disappointed sometimes — children and adults.

Step 1 — Pause and name the feeling

- Stop for a moment. Place a hand on your chest or tummy.
- Say to yourself, "I feel disappointed." or "I feel sad about this."

Step 2 — Breathe and calm your body

- Take a slow breath in through your nose.
- Blow out gently like you are blowing a bubble.
- Do this 3 times to help your body feel safer.

Step 3 — Use kind self-talk

- Think or say: "It is okay to feel this way."
- Try helpful thoughts like: "I can try again later." or "We can make a new plan."

Step 4 — Choose a small next step

- Ask, "What can I do now?"
- Ideas: play a different game, draw a picture, get a hug, talk to an adult.

Step 5 — Ask for help if needed

- If the feeling is still very big, talk to a trusted adult.
- They can listen and help you plan new ideas.

Adults can say: "I see you are disappointed. Your feelings make sense. Let us breathe and think of a next step together."

Picture strip: "From droopy to hopeful"

## Guided Practice — My disappointment steps

You and an adult will make a simple chart that shows steps for handling disappointment.

1. On a notebook page, draw four boxes in a row or in a square. At the top, write or trace "My disappointment steps".
2. In box 1, draw a picture of a disappointment (for example, a game cancelled, not getting a turn, a broken toy). Add a short label.
3. In box 2, draw how your body feels (for example, droopy shoulders, sad face). Label it "Feel" or "My feeling".
4. In box 3, draw a calm step you can use (for example, slow breaths, hugging a toy, counting to 5). Label it "Breathe" or "Calm".
5. In box 4, draw a next step (for example, trying again, choosing a different game, talking to an adult). Label it "Next step".
6. Practise pointing to the boxes and saying: "I feel disappointed… I notice my body… I breathe… I choose a next step."

Tracing Pad
Lines
Trace
Pen

## Practice — Two ways to handle it

Use this practice to help your child notice unhelpful reactions and helpful coping steps for disappointment.

1. On a new page, draw two big side-by-side boxes. Label the first box "Stuck" and the second box "Handling it".
2. Think of one disappointment together (for example, "The park is closed" or "The game is cancelled"). Write or trace the situation above the boxes.
3. In the Stuck box, draw what might happen if the child stays stuck in the feeling (for example, yelling, saying "This is the worst!", not wanting to do anything).
4. In the Handling it box, draw the same situation but with calm steps (for example, breathing, talking to an adult, choosing a new activity).
5. Ask: "Which picture helps your body feel calmer?" and "Which picture helps us keep going?"
6. Together, circle or put a star next to one coping idea your child wants to try the next time they feel disappointed.

## Quick Check — Handling disappointment

Answer each question about disappointment, feelings, and helpful coping steps.

1) What is disappointment?

A happy feeling when everything goes your way. A sad or heavy feeling when something you hoped for does not happen. A silly feeling when you tell a joke.
Disappointment is a normal feeling when plans or hopes do not work out.

2) Which is a normal body clue of disappointment?

Heavy tummy and droopy shoulders. Flying like a bird. Turning into a robot.
Our body can feel heavy, tight, or droopy when we are disappointed.

3) What is the first helpful step when you feel disappointed?

Shout at everyone near you. Keep it a secret and say nothing. Pause, breathe, and name the feeling.
Pausing to breathe and naming the feeling helps your brain and body.

4) Which thought is kind self-talk when plans change?

"Nothing ever goes right. I hate this." "I feel disappointed, but I can make a new plan." "I must never feel sad."
Kind self-talk notices the feeling and reminds you that you can try something else.

5) You cannot play the game you wanted. Which is a helpful next step?

Choose a different game or activity after a few calm breaths. Yell at your family and throw the game. Decide you will never play games again.
Choosing a new activity helps you move through disappointment.

6) You did not win a race. What could you say to yourself?

"I am terrible and should never try again." "No one else is allowed to feel sad." "I feel disappointed, but I can practise and try again another day."
Kind words help you keep learning, even when you do not win.

7) When should you ask a trusted adult for help with disappointment?

Never. You must always handle it alone. When the feeling is very big or will not go away. Only when you feel a little bit hungry.
Trusted adults can listen, comfort you, and help you plan next steps.

8) Which sentence shows healthy coping?

"I feel sad now. I will take three breaths and then talk to Mum." "I will stay upset all day and shout at everyone." "I must pretend I am not disappointed."
Healthy coping uses calm steps and talking to someone you trust.

9) What might help if you feel disappointed about a broken toy?

Throw the toy and any other toys you see. Hide the toy and never tell anyone. Breathe, say how you feel, then ask an adult if it can be fixed or replaced.
You can feel your feelings and also look for a small next step with an adult.

10) What is one big goal of this lesson?

To make sure you never feel disappointed. To help you handle disappointment with calm steps and kind thoughts. To teach you to stay stuck when plans change.
The goal is to handle disappointment in safe, kind, and helpful ways.

## Assessment (parent/teacher)

Student can say what disappointment means in simple words. Student can describe at least one body clue of feeling disappointed. Student can show or name at least one calm step (such as breathing slowly). Student can give one example of a helpful next step when plans change. Student knows they can tell a trusted adult when disappointment feels very big.

## Exit ticket (student)

😀 I can handle disappointment with calm steps and kind thoughts. 🙂 I know some ways to handle disappointment, but I still need practice. 😅 Handling disappointment still feels tricky for me.

#### Next time I will practise…

Taking three calm breaths when I feel disappointed Using kind self-talk like "I can make a new plan" Telling a trusted adult about a big disappointment
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