# Lesson 6: Revise for Clarity and Detail

✍️ WRITING (40 Lessons) • 🟢 A. Paragraphs and Organization

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## Objective

I can revise my writing to make ideas clear, sentences precise, and details specific so the reader understands easily.

## Materials

- Keyboard device (laptop/tablet) ⌨️
- Writing Pad (below)
- Optional: a checklist for clarity & detail

Tip: Replace vague words (thing, stuff, good) with precise nouns and verbs. Add concrete facts (numbers, names, actions).

## Mini-lesson — What makes writing clear?

1. Be specific: name people, places, quantities, and actions.
2. Choose strong verbs: “plants sprout” is clearer than “plants grow.”
3. Cut fluff: remove repeated or off-topic words.
4. Explain with detail: add one fact, example, or number where needed.
5. Read aloud: listen for confusion; fix sentences that feel bumpy or vague.

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## Guided Practice — Writing Pad (Keyboard)

Revise this topic sentence and add details: “Our class did a project.”

- Plan: List 3 specifics: What project? Where? What materials or steps?
- Draft: Write an 80–120 word paragraph with strong verbs and exact nouns.
- Edit: Remove one vague word and add one precise number or name.

0 words Saved

## Drag & Drop — Build Clear, Detailed Sentences

Drag a word and release it inside a slot to drop it. Chips stay within their own question.

Strong verbs make sentences more precise.
Specific nouns replace vague words like things.
Add one fact example or number to clarify meaning.
Cut repeated words that do not add new information.
Readers understand better when sentences are clear and organized.
Replace good with precise words like effective helpful or delicious.
Combine short choppy sentences to improve flow.
Transitions guide the reader from one idea to the next.
Read aloud to catch confusing parts and fix them.
Precise details like numbers and names build trust.
Delete off topic details that distract from the point.
Clear writing helps every reader follow your ideas.

## Quick Check (15 questions)

#### 1) Which revision improves clarity?

The experiment was good. We measured water temperature with a thermometer. It was fine.

#### 2) Which sentence fixes vague wording?

We used stuff for the project. The things were helpful. We used cardboard, glue sticks, and string.

#### 3) Best way to fix choppy sentences?

Combine related ideas with a transition. Add more random sentences. Remove the topic sentence.

#### 4) Which revision adds a helpful detail?

We read a book. We read Because of Winn-Dixie in reading group. We did reading time, I guess.

#### 5) Best fix for: “Dogs need daily care. My shoes are blue. They need fresh water.”

Keep all sentences. Delete “They need fresh water.” Delete “My shoes are blue.”

#### 6) Which change improves clarity the most?

Add the name of the city where it happened. Add three emojis. Remove all verbs.

#### 7) Choose the stronger verb:

went dashed is

#### 8) Which revision adds a useful number?

The jar had jellybeans. The jar had many jellybeans. The jar held 125 jellybeans.

#### 9) Which transition best connects steps?

next pizza very

#### 10) A quick way to test clarity is to…

delete the topic sentence read your paragraph aloud turn off punctuation

#### 11) Which is most precise?

good food nice meal vegetable soup with carrots and beans

#### 12) To improve clarity, you should…

remove off-topic details add unrelated jokes repeat the same sentence

#### 13) Best replacement for “things on the desk”:

stuff notebooks, pencils, and a calculator things

#### 14) Which revision is clearest?

It was very extremely good. It is something we did. We built a model bridge with craft sticks.

#### 15) When revising, which step helps most?

replace vague words with precise ones ignore confusing parts add three unrelated sentences

## Assessment (parent/teacher)

Replaces vague words with precise nouns/verbs Adds at least one concrete detail (number, name, example) Removes off-topic or repeated words Uses simple transitions to connect ideas

## Exit ticket (student)

😀 My sentences are clear and specific 🙂 I need more practice adding details 😅 It was tricky to replace vague words

#### I will practice…

Choosing precise nouns and verbs Adding one number or name Removing off-topic details
Lesson 7 →